May 2013
80 posts
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Stuff I've Learned From Being A Total Screw Up →
I screw up with relationships and I mess up at work. I get angry and say things I donât mean to my friends or people I love.
my life
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Ron Swanson: Leslie, I got married twice. Both times I was a lot older than those two and both marriages ended in divorce...and a burning effigy. Who's to say what works? You find somebody you like, and you roll the dice, it's all anyone can do.
Leslie Knope: Wait, weren't you married 3 times?
Ron: My God, you're right. I get to burn another effigy.
Brittany: Audrey do you maybe wanna put some groceries away instead of just standing there doing nothing?
Staci: She is clearly eating a lollipop.
A man has an average of 11 erections every day, but 7 of those happen while...
– Kathy Greaves
I desperately wish I had my tambourine with me now, because even after...
– Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
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Why You Should End Up With Your Best Friend →
But nothing could be less ordinary than someone who cares about us when it’s least convenient.
Thank Your Ex →
Thank you for arguing with me. You taught me the correct way to disagree, as well as the incorrect way.
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Michael: You idiot!
Darryl: Start over.
Michael: Sir....
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30 Quotes About Love, For People With Too Many... →
“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.”
Her body is a quilt
jm-barraza:
Her body is a quilt.
I know this,
because I’ve watched her get patched up
from time to time.
I know this
because I’ve felt her warmth lay over me
on those rainy nights.
Her body is a quilt
with a long family history, and now she doesn’t know
which squares of theirs she inherited
are the ones that need to go.
So she’ll
rip some off at the seams,
pray...
sometimes you don’t think you have a lot to think about and then you go for a run and end up lying on your back in the park staring at sky for god only knows how long
watching shadows within shadows who hide their dark selves from the sun and her voice is just a memory you’re not fooling anyone
Sometimes you gotta freak out. Maybe it’s cathartic; definitely unavoidable....
– Elliott Smith
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Alex: Why isn't he replying to meeee
Me: Well what did you say?
Alex: "What's crackin nig nag"
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The only real mistake we make at this point in our lives is thinking we have anything at all figured out.